Bad-Assed Girls

We once lived boring lives in boring towns situated in boring countries on several boring continents. Well, one of us sometimes lives in a little, blonde world all her own but that's another blog. Our lives used to be so banal, so interminably dull, but not since we met! Hilarious, passionate, irreverant, wise, diverse, forthright, spiritual, bright, loving, compassionate, smart-assed, sexual, quick-witted, juicy. We're a batch of bitchin' babes & a couple of titular dudes...watch us blossom!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

ECHO!!! ECHo!! ECho!! Echo! echo! echo.....

  • Knock, knock.
  • Who's there?
  • Me.
  • Me who?
  • Me miss you girls!


  • Knock, knock.
  • .....
  • Knock, Knock.
  • ....
  • KNOCK, KNOCK!
Damn, guess no one's home.

Friday, October 20, 2006

A Proposal

I think it's time for any of us to want to to turn this into a chatboard of sorts. This way we can keep up with each other via this blog and continue to read each others' blogs as we wish. You are a fabulous group of women (and 2 men) and I don't think I can keep up with everyone with all the wonderful new folks I've discovered on the blogosphere. At least I can't keep up with those who actually manage to write a fucking post on their blogs once in a while!

We can tightly control comments...even move them into moderation. Jess, you'd be the likely candidate for that since you've used it already and, really, what the hell do you do all day, anyway? But then, given the losers you atracted on your Peachy World, maybe not. We don't want to do anything more to invite that Southern trash to follow you over here!

I could do comments because I am an evil bitch with an axe she's willing to grind into someone's skull and, really, what the hell do I do all day, anyway? I will have no problem slicing trolls down the middle with my scathing scimitar of a tongue or impaling him on the sharp spears of my lightning-fast fingers. Note the troll is always mentioned in the masculine. (Does this sound like a Hot Lesbian Personal Ad or what??? (In case any fine, middle-aged women who are comfortable with their bodies happen to Google to this post...Yeah, Baby. I got allll'dem things and know how to use them in more than one way. Go see my profile at PlanetOut. or e-mail! ; )

Von, you can remain Sexeratary since that's what you're best at and what the hell do you do all day, anyway? Justin, you may not talk in a sexist manner! Yes, you can leer. Yes, you can drool. Yes, you can tease. But you cannot come here and be a sexist arsehole! There are many more of us than there are of you! ; )

I can remain, what the hell was I?...something like "President-for-Life?" El Presidentita para Vita? La Presidente de vie? I think I've moved beyond democracy into full monoarchy. Queen Bitch will suffice and we can haggle and barter about what your new, royal titles will be.

Kelly can continue to ourgtrow us. : (

Penny...Sweet Penny can be the ever-lovely advice columnist. (Sorry, Penny, but there's not going to be a Royal Sex Slave position. ; )

Joe...will you ever post?

I can pour all my boring, personal posts over here. Von could rant about her back and her husband and kids. Penny can whimper about her sex life and keep us abreast of her breasts.

Jess can foment and hone her plans for the elimination of her husband. Just don't ask Sweet Penny for advice.

Kerry can keep us laughing and update us on the various body parts she's donating to medical science "down under."

Kitty can continue to purr, quietly, in the corner.

I vote for a zero tolerance policy for sexism and feminism- and women-bashing, from anybody.

Whaddya say, BAGs?

Monday, September 25, 2006

I HEAR YOU VON... I HEAR YOU NOW STOP SHOUTING

OMG my ears are still bloody ringing from Von’s screeching, can’t believe it she can project her voice that far! Now it looks like I’m going to have to go to the Quack’s for Tinnitus now! Bloody hell, might as well get a chair in the surgery. Oh no wait, I already have one, perhaps I should change it and go for one with a view? Now that would be nice.

Anyway for those of you who have been watching my breasts here’s an update (for those who’ve ended up here after some freak search engine, sorry it’s not that eventful!).

Well had the old mammogram, (there was me thinking I’d get away with having the squash thingy due to my age) and fortunately for me although I am cursed/blessed with ahem large breasts, which apparently were quite dense, I didn’t end up screaming in agony during the process, which others had told me was likely to happen.

Although I did have to go through the embarrassing trauma of having my breasts screened in two parts, as when they were squashed they kind of expanded in ways I never believed possible, and ahem they didn’t fit on the plates of the x-ray. Welcome pancakes! LOL.

Evidently the breast tissue was too dense and though there was shadowing, it meant I had to have an ultrasound too. What a clear piece of kit that machine is, now I can kind of appreciate some of the anticipation some people may have when have a scan when pregnant. Couldn’t keep my bloody eyes off the screen to see if I could spot anything, oh yes I could, darn that’s not a good thing though.

It turns out that where I thought I had one lump I actually had about 5 or 6 all around the same area. Two people looked at the lumps on screen, one a Dr/Registrar who knows, he failed to tell me (great customer service) all I know is he wasn’t the consultant I had the appointment with, it seems on this day the organ grinder sent out his monkeys. He didn’t boost me with confidence and ended up calling in a lovely registrar, who was lovely and made me feel very happy and confident with her skill etc.

She reviewed the scans, did another scan herself and felt they were all highly likely benign cysts. Phew…. However I’ve got to keep an eye on them (though I can only feel one!). Mind you I am baffled how to monitor any developments in my breast when I know I’ve got hidden lumps already!

So glad it was good news, you won’t believe it, however on a flippant note, I may have to save up for the breast reduction now!

Von, as for your earlier question, I’m not a huge coffee drinker (psst don’t tell Kelly) so I can’t see any correlation with that.

Cher, your grandson is getting more gorgeous by the day, and in some of his pictures he looks like you! Ah bless!

Kerry what’s going on with you? Hope you are up and about; I’m getting inundated with emails from you, so I know you are still alive unless you be reaching out beyond the grave… scary.

Kelly… period pain… hmm how about his remedy.... take alcohol and if you can’t take it neat then I suggest imbibe it in coffee, anything to help the medicine go down, evidently a spoonful of sugar just wouldn’t work for you!

Well that’s it for now... Got a mad week and weekend up ahead, my eldest sister has separated from her husband, so I’m helping out with my niece and nephew, and then I’m off to other relatives for the weekend, and I’m knackered thinking about it.

Friday, September 15, 2006

What The Fuck?

WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYONE? JESS HAS GONE AWOL. CAROL HAS VANISHED WITHOUT A TRACE. CHRISTINE HAS GONE UP IN A PINK FLUFFY HUG. PENNY'S HAVING ORGIES WITH HER BOX... SORRY XBOX. KELLY IS HAVING HER PERIOD. KERRY IS NOT FILLING MY BOX..... AND IT'S LONELY. CHERYL IS CONFUSING THE CRAP OUT OF ME BUT AT LEAST I KNOW SHE IS ALIVE! AND I AM DRIVING MYSELF FUCKING BAT SHIT CHECKING BLOGS AND EMAILS TO SEE IF ANYONE IS ALIVE AND IN NEED OF A CHAT.

MAYBE YOU LOT COULD JUST DROP ME A LINE AND LEMME KNOW HOW YOU ALL ARE? THANKS. I MISS YOU LOT. I MISS GARS.

LOVE YVONNE

P.S EYES ARE SORE. CAPS LOCK ON SO I CAN READ WHAT I AM TYPING.

And now, a word from our sponsors...

Well I, for one, think we could use a break from all the joviality around here lately. How about some baby pictures while we wait for Kerry to tell us about her leg and Penny to show her breasts, I mean tell us about her breast lump:

Meet Uncle Will (one of Mike's oldest and closest friends).




















Check out that arse!

















I Love my Horsey!














Dimple Knee!

















One Too Many Pacifiers, Kid?





Mmmm, Twizzlers!













More Twizzler! More Twizzler!






Check out Mike's houseplant jungle in the background...and the cute baby.















Woof! Woof! I'm a doggie!








Just a beautiful baby...














...who's not sure he wants to be an Eagles fan!You can see them all here if you'd like. : )

tags: grandboy / life

Friday, September 08, 2006

Hi All.

Okay, first things first, I best apologise for being away for ages. I admit I’ve done the occasional browse at those of you who have sites and for those of you who don’t I’ve browsed in my mind! Sorry to be doom and gloomy I just haven’t had the impetus to blog.

A lot has been going on for me and no it wasn’t and isn’t just the arrival of my huge TV (which yes I love). Nor was it the arrival of my delightful Xbox 360, which yes has turned me into a complete computer gaming geek. Oh my, wasn’t I that already?

I’ve not long been back off my summer holiday, which this year was in Caorle in Italy, about an hour away from Venice (a beautiful city spoilt by the bloody tourists!) The holiday itself wasn’t fabulous; more’s the pity, although I did have a few good days. Especially when we drove up through the Alps into Austira for a day trip! Lot of car time but glorious and exquisite scenary, and I wish I could go back there right now.

I wasn’t enamoured by the accommodation, which has led me to admit to myself I am a snob deep down and I’m slightly ashamed of this, though I’m sure some of you agree, comfort should be an element of any holiday, and we had none! We were staying in a mobile home, which was cramped and dismal, and the bed, well I reckon concrete would have been more comfortable. So my back didn’t enjoy the break at all!

Thank goodness for the fact I had a lilo ensuring I had some quality sleep beside the pool and on the beach. I also begrudge paying about 3 Euros for a can of coke, which was about £2.80! Extortionate!

Then mid way through the holiday, I found a lump in my right breast. Fanbloodytastic! Which is probably the most reason why I haven’t felt up to blogging, writing or responding to emails. So far I've seen 3 doctors, one of whom was Italian who spoke very little English, about the same amount as my Italian. I’ve had antibiotics in case it was an infection, but alas no change. So I’ve been referred to a specialist and my appointment is set for next Thursday. Not really sure how I feel about the whole thing deep down cause I’m going into detachment phase, which is normal for me. As soon as I know more you all will too!

Hope the rest of you are fine and dandy. Take good care :-)

Thursday, August 31, 2006

I made it in here again.......lol

Hi there ev1,
Not much going on in here I notice.....
I havent been in much either....sorry...
Hubby busy...as usual....
I am busy with little athletics season starting...
I am the new canteen convenor.....
I also have to have xray and ultrasound in the morning...
The dr thinks I have either DVT or Bakers Cyst ....(like fluid on knee..except its behind the knee....and he thinks cyst may have ruptured )
Have had a little pain , cramps, off n on for a couple of mnths...Thought nothing of it....Had my fair share of drs etc to last a life time....
But boy oh boy....last 2 days....pain worse than childbirth...couldn't walk, sit or lie......( probably shouldve hung from the ceiling...lol)...
Anyways will write again......May be put in hospital tomorrow....see what results show........
Hope you are all well n Jesse...your baby must be growing pretty fast by now.....Sry...forget how old...My baby will be 8 in a few weeks n the eldest will be 25 in a fortnight.....Now I am feeling a lot older....lol
Bye for now.....
tc n hago
Kerry
(((((((((xxxxxxxxxxx))))))))

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Our 1,000th Visitor

Here it is...the one-thousandth person to come through the doors was:

An anonymous site from the middle of the US through Comcast...Internet Explorer 6.0, came here through my profile and spent no time.

Boring. the story of my life.