Bad-Assed Girls

We once lived boring lives in boring towns situated in boring countries on several boring continents. Well, one of us sometimes lives in a little, blonde world all her own but that's another blog. Our lives used to be so banal, so interminably dull, but not since we met! Hilarious, passionate, irreverant, wise, diverse, forthright, spiritual, bright, loving, compassionate, smart-assed, sexual, quick-witted, juicy. We're a batch of bitchin' babes & a couple of titular us blossom!

Friday, April 21, 2006

What Would You Do...

...if you had unlimited funds and never had to work again? We're talking about a 360 million US dollar lottery jackpot, with the miracle of that being tax-free. (That's 484, 684,715.90 Australian dollars, 202,176,828.18 British pounds or 291,992,832.54 Euros. )

I often like to think about this, particularly on days I have to go to work. This would be my plan.

First, I'd make sure everyone I love was well provided for, of course. That means a lovely house for Von and Soggy, a boob job for Jess, a cleaning lady for Carol, a tummy tuck for Tina, if she wants to match her new boobs and a contractor to show up at Tam's house to fix everything that needs fixing and put on a second floor if she wants it. I don't trust that Tam would actually get it done herself if I gave her the money. She's too much like me...she'd probably forget where she put the cash!

Then I'd find myself a perfect home. It would be an original chink log cabin, circa the early to mid-19th century. If I couldn't find an original situated in the location I want, I'd be willing to settle for a realistic reproduction. But it would be small. No McMansion for me! It would be situated on at least a few to a few dozen wooded acres bordering a state or national park. And there would have to be water on my land, within sight of the house. Water moving over, a small waterfall, so I get to hear the sound of water running from my garden or my bedroom. If it was too small for me and the woman of my dreams, wherever she may be, to reasonably live there, I'd have an authentic addition constructed but it wouldn't be larger than maybe 1800 square feet at most.

I would have fabulous gardens! I'd have someone to help me with the heavy
work but would largely do it myself. It would be loaded with heirloom veggies
and periennial flowers. There would be meandering paths and arbors laden with wisteria, morning glory and clematis. There would be at least one or two gardens for cutting flowers so I could enjoy the beauty of my own handiwork all summer long. There would be benches to while away the days reading books on, a pool which looks like a natural pond hidden somewhere along a path and bird feeders and houses around every corner. The butterflies would swarm around the lilacs in spring. Penny would eat her heart out!

I'd build (have built) a small shed in the same chink log style to be my pottery shed, complete with potter's wheel, kiln and work spaces. Not large...8 or 10 feet square ought to do me. There might even be a labyrinth made of bushes, like in traditional English gardens. The maze wouldn't be large enough to actually get lost in but it would be big enough that I could "find" you in there.

I would enroll full-time at Swarthmore College. Swarthmore has the most incredible philosophy department. Yes, I would get a totally worthless, very expensive college education and walk away with a degree in philosophy. Just 'cause. I'd probably then translate that otherwise useless degree into a law school admission. I don't really care where I go to law school. I'm not a snob. Rutgers' Law would be fine with me. Follow along with me. I've now got a worthless degree in philosophy and a very usable law degree. Think I'm going to go make more money now? WRONG!

I'd take my law degree and do something totally altruistic with it. I'd work for a legal aid society, a battered woman's shelter, a place for single mothers transitioning from Welfare to work, an immigration rights center, Lambda Legal Defense or an environmental law organization.

After I was done restoring justice to the universe, I'd probably traipse off to Africa, where I'd vaccinate children, help mothers feed their young ones, teach young women how to use contraceptives and AIDS patients how to taake their meds.

I guess I've done enough to save the world today. What would you do? How would you spend your windfall?


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